RECONCILIATION

 

In the water, I scream. At the heart of this reassuring mass, I release the nightmares that make my sleep vibrate. The liquid contains and cushions what the air seems to harden. The grain of light, its fluctuations and vibrations rock my resistance, welcome my fragmentation and invite me to be present. In this aquatic universe where my breath is counted, I breathe, I vocalize, I shout. I laugh.  Here, whole, I exist. 

One final space to explore, the confrontation with the image of a woman floating between two waters. 

The powerful conditioning of the religion in which my mother had inscribed her life eventually pushed her to throw herself into a winter well and end her life. I have fled this image that is lodged deep within each of my cells and kept a fierce anger associated with what had pushed her to such a drastic act. It was only about 10 years ago that I finally designed a project that would highlight the conditioning, by the 3 main monotheistic religions, on women in their relationship to their body. When I raised the issue with members of some of these communities, I received clear warnings that confirmed the pressure exerted by religious authorities on their respective communities. I left the project aside and it was only 3 years ago that certain images appeared to me and triggered a powerful creative and liberating process. 

I owe a lot to Juliette who offered to be the first participant in the project, it was she who invited an ever-increasing number of women to share this founding experience. While many sessions brought joy and lightness, some revealed existential pain or sadness that ran deep in the emotional memory of some of the participants. Over time it became clear that this project did not belong to me, that it was embodied by each and every woman who freely chose to contribute to it. If the beginning of the process had a significant personal therapeutic dimension and allowed me to move towards accepting this image buried for so long, this is no longer the case today. I put myself at the service of a cause greater than myself, just as the fear of water and sharks had been the triggering factor of this attempt to rehabilitate them in the collective consciousness. Several participants and a close friend suggested that I create men's circles and asked me why I hadn't done similar photographic work with them? The answer is simple. Of course, I could integrate this component out of pure opportunism and, at the same time, clear myself of being another man who takes photos of naked women in an era where such a work smacks of obsolescence but, what sense would it have in relation to my personal life course?  

Each stage of my life as a photographer is a deep commitment to highlight the universe around us with its echo in each of us. An invitation to question the way we look at this or that aspect of our daily environment. The relationship to the body is universal, I have not yet met someone who asserted their full acceptance of the body they had embodied. Among the XX participants in the project, none experienced it in peace before the experience. On the other hand, I was able to witness the emergence of sincere joy thanks to the experience, a salutary letting go for these many participants and the best compliment that I could possibly receive.